Why I’m Mad @ BroHerm
When we were kids, we'd sleep over at each other's house. We'd play Atari, talk about girls and listen to music on the radio. We rushed to the corner store between Sunday School and Morning Worship to buy candy. We cracked jokes during youth meeting on Tuesday nights.
When we were teenagers, we'd hang out at the mall. We'd play Nintendo, talk about girls and listen to cassettes. I liked New Edition while he liked Public Enemy. We drove to McDonald's between Sunday School and Morning Worship to buy sandwiches. We cracked jokes during church outings.
When I visited him at college, I was just getting by in high school. I really didn't think about going away to school until I saw how much he was learning and the freedoms he had being away from home. We'd sit in his dorm and play Sega Genesis, talk about girls and listen to CDs. Boyz II Men inspired me to sing while he memorized rhymes from Ice Cube and X-Clan. We cracked jokes during the summer. During the school year, I began applying myself more so I could go away to college, too.
When I came home from college, he introduced me to his new girlfriend. I never saw him more excited about someone as he was about her. That's where he spent the majority of his time. We still played PlayStation, talked about women and made mix CDs. . .but he spent the bulk of his time with her - as he should have. I did my share of dating with no sign of settling down. He'd often remind me that dating a myriad of women wouldn't equal having someONE special.
When he got married, he was nervous...real nervous. But it was something he wanted to do and I was there. This new life direction meant even less video games, women advice and swapping those "new fangled" MP3 files. He said this is what we were raised to do. . .to be husbands, fathers. . .leaders. And he promised me he'd be there when (not if) my wedding day came.
This is why I'm mad at BroHerm.
When I moved away, we stayed in touch via e-mail and IM. I relocated a LOT - building my career and seeing the world. He stayed near our hometown, building his family and teaching our youth. I'd come visit him at their new house. We'd play PS2, talk about (his) marriage and (my) dating while listening to music files on his computer. As an English major, he loved to write and talked about his first book that I was going to help market.
This is why I'm mad at BroHerm.
When we last spoke, we talked on the phone for more than 4 hours. I still teased him about settling down and staying in "the Region" while I whisked around the country like a dandelion flower in a windstorm. He laughed with me - somehow knowing that I was really envious of him. After nearly a decade of relocations, fickle corporate restructures and superficial relationships - I began believing he had the right idea in building a foundation. He always called what I did (marketing) the "fluff" and I should NEVER "believe my own hype." He was that sobering voice of reality when I'd get lost in my dream world of what life is supposed to be. That's why I would call him from time to time...because despite the facades and images, he knew who I was beyond the suits and smiles.
On 15 July 2006, my son and I were enjoying the weekend together before I went on another business trip. I stopped by my parents' house in Birmingham to drop my son off when my mother told me that my dear friend had died from a heart attack. He was 33.
This is why I'm mad at BroHerm.
He promised he would be there when MY wedding day came. He promised that he'd let me do the marketing and promotions for his first book. He was supposed to be online when I got to my hotel so we could IM each other. I was supposed to come visit and get a rematch on NBA LIVE so I could beat him just ONCE. I was supposed to finally tell him that my so-called exciting life wasn't nearly as fulfilling as his reality of leading a family, teaching young kids and being close to home.
This is why I'm mad at BroHerm.
When he died, I found peace knowing I had nothing unresolved between us. That 4+ hour conversation will never leave my mind nor will the three decades of memories we shared. We can't play the new PS3, talk about women or swap iTunes libraries. I'm mad that he isn't here. I know where he's in a better place, but it would have been nice if he stayed here and gotten older, watched his son grow up, taught more students, written more books, helped more children and continued to be my voice of reason 
I got married on his birthday. I believe he was there. I picked that day so he could somehow keep his promise and I could somehow counteract the pain of his absence with the happiness of my new life as a husband, father. . .leader. I pray my heart finds acceptance; until then I am still very mad at Herman Polk, Jr. aka BroHerm.
But today I am just sad.
Princess Dominique says:
I knew you'd be back. This was powerful and moving. They say you never know "when". Here I am traipsing around in high heel land and you're over here writing the deep stuff. I'm glad you got his lessons though. Hold on to those nuggets.
jon says:
grieving with you today man. no way i can as much as you, but definitely my thoughts have been with you today.
anewlis says:
I started to read this and had to walk away for a while before responding. It is a touching post that I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it through. I finally did after numerous interruptions.
You were blessed to have someone in your life who was real... encouraging... honest... and gave you love without bounds. We should all be so blessed to have that.
Keep remembering the good times, the lessons and the true love ~ and share it!