return 2 sender
I received a card in the mail from my parents mother this week. I saw the words “anniversary” through the envelope. My blood started to boil as my hands shook. I nestled the card between the pages of a magazine and shoved it in my knapsack.
What would normally be a celebratory well wish, I took as an insult. The card was a reminder of the low opinion, high pride and hurtful hypocrisy that looms over my life like a storm cloud.
I remember receiving another card last year - with the same handwriting and card stock. It was the RSVP card from our invitation. I hadn’t asked my parents for anything except their presence at their only child’s wedding. The card read, “We will NOT attend.”
And now you want to wish us “Happy Anniversary” like it’s all good?
No thank you. I will never discredit the sacrifices you made while raising me – but I cannot ignore the emotional scar you gave by allowing your love of pride to be greater than your love for me.
Keep your damn card.
Does that make me bitter? Should I move past the hurt and embrace the now? I probably should. But I won’t lie to myself and force a false forgiveness. I’m not ready. I am still very angry and will be for a while.
My prayer is that I don’t expire with this anger in my heart. It has to go someday but that day is not today. As I send this card “return to sender” – maybe one day I can send the pain back as well.
Until next time…
